We all dream about that perfect romance, one that transcends not only time but also distance. The fact is that about seven million people in the United States are currently involved in a long-distance relationship. Twenty-five per cent of them are college students, half being first-year students involved in long-distance relationships.

Katy Boychuk, a second-year student at the University of Western Ontario, is currently involved in her second long-distance relationship. "I met [my current boyfriend] while on an exchange program in the summer of 2006," she said. "We met at a club in Quebec City." For Boychuk, it was love at first sight, she reminisced. "I didn't believe it before, but I do now."

According to Toronto-based Couples Therapist Karen Hirscheimer, there are many challenges that people in most long-distance relationships face. "The first would be missing each other, especially if you've seen each other regularly before you were separated," she said. "It's a natural longing."

Another key issue is trust—that fear that your significant other will find someone else. "If there were any trust issues before, they might be magnified now," explained Hirscheimer.
“Be honest about your fears. Establish ground rules ahead of time. This way everybody has the same expectations.”

"You have to build that trust factor, and it has to go both ways," said Samantha Wu, third-year journalism student at the Humber College Institute of Technology & Advanced Learning. Wu had met her previous partner at the age of 21 online through a network of mutual friends, but she ended that relationship for personal reasons after "dating" for about 11 months. "There were personality clashes," admitted Wu. "They were things I should have seen coming, but I didn't really think about it before."

The two had tried working things out, but in the end Wu decided it just wasn’t working. They had been disagreeing too much on everything from politics to religion. That was when she decided to call it 'quits'.

"You have to honour any agreements that you have made, like calling when you're supposed to," said Hirscheimer. "Long-distance relationships bring up lots of opportunities for misunderstanding. Also, maintaining that feeling of connection with each other even after you've been separated [by the distance] is important.
 
“Staying in contact is important. You can phone each other, e-mail, or arrange visits. And both people need to take part in the cost and planning; each has to invest equally in maintaining the relationship.”

Boychuk realized how important that connection is to keeping the ties strong. She had been the one to commute between London and Toronto just to see her former boyfriend. "[It] became a chore, because it was out of the way," she said.

"For the realtionship to work, both people have to be committed to making it work," added Boychuk.

The time a couple in a long-distance relationship spends together should be quality time, noted Hirscheimer. ”Remember, you're trying to grow your relationship, and there's a time to talk and a time to have fun,” she explained. “The most important thing is: don't sweep important issues under the rug; talk them out.”

What did Samantha Wu wish she could have changed about her previous relationship? "I wish I had been able to get him to open up more. Then again, I figured I wouldn't have been happy with him in the long run."

Boychuk doesn’t regret her former experiences. "I didn't regret it, because it was a learning experience for me," she said. As for her current relationship, "Right now, we're making it work. We both feel very strongly about each other." And that is the most important thing.

Cathy Tang is a Grade 12 student at Runnymede Collegiate Institute